


Sartaq and Nesryn fight

by sarah_bae_maas



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 16:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16857328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah_bae_maas/pseuds/sarah_bae_maas
Summary: posted Nov 25, 2018





	Sartaq and Nesryn fight

Nesryn wiped at her eyes, desperate to keep herself awake.

She was waiting for Sartaq, again, on their anniversary, again, and he was late, again.

She was tired.

She got up from the table, waving away the servants who approached with the intention of clearing the food she had made and packing away the presents she had gotten him. It may have been petty, but she wanted him to see it.

As she left their dining hall and stepped wearily to their room, she had to stop herself halfway. The ache in her chest was near impossible to ignore, and her heart fluttered to her abdomen as the slight flutter inside her reminded her of the other thing she had wanted to tell Sartaq of tonight. She wanted to cry, not from sadness but from anger. He had promised that he wouldn’t be late.

The last thing she wanted to do right now was see him, which was quite comical, considering she had spent the last five hours desperately waiting for him to come to her. So, she spun on her heels and away from their quarters and took the long winding staircase to the aviary.

Salkhi was there and huddled up as he slept, and he merely opened an eye at her sudden appearance and let his wings loose so she could climb in under one. She scooted in close to him and rested against his feathery underside, his wing more useful than any walls against the hot wind that pressed in through the large open ways. She refused to let any tears fall and cursed the name of her lover under her breath. She closed her eyes, hopeful that here she might sleep.

____

She felt herself being lifted, orange light making her squint as she awoke. She might have panicked, if she hadn’t known exactly who it was that held her from their scent, the familiar feel of their arms, the hair that brushed her face as he walked with her in his grip.

She looked up at the face of Sartaq and then to the world outside.

Sunrise.

“You’re awake, I worried when you didn’t come to our room last night,” he said.

She squirmed until she was out of his arms and standing on her own two feet. She took a step back from him, crossing her arms over her chest and raising a brow.

“I’m sorry I missed out on dinner yesterday, can we reschedule for tonight?” He was smirking, the kind that usually made women and men fall at his feet. That usually made _her_ more than willing to strip wherever they were, so she could feel as much of him as possible.

“Where we you?” she asked.

He named a woman he had been training with lately. A woman from the east he’d heard stories about and flown to see, a woman who now resided here so that they may learn from each other.

They’d been training. Apparently.

“So, dinner tonight? And breakfast now if you’re up for it.” Still smiling, as if he’d just missed another simple dinner.

Nesryn did not return the look. She pinched her fingers to the bridge of her nose in an effort not to let her welling tears fall. She glared at him over her fingers and his smile fell slightly.

“Dinner tonight then,” was all she said before turning on her heels and leaving. Let the fool figure out himself that he’d missed their anniversary.

She walked until she got to the dining room she’d been in the night before. The food was there still, spoiled and rank from the heat, and the presents unmoved. He hadn’t bothered to come at all then, not to even see if she was still there.

Disheartened, she shoved the small gifts into the pockets of her pants until she had to have a hand on her waistband so that her pants didn’t fall from the weight in her pockets. She went to her room, dumped them in a corner, and threw a blanket over them in a half-assed attempt to hide them.

Her night’s rest left much to be desired, and although there were duties that she was neglecting, she padded over to her bed and laid atop the covers. Her eyes fluttered shut, and with it came a dream she’d been having for the last month.

She was standing in a crowd at the steps of the palace. She looked up to see her friend Queen Aelin and Chaol there too. She wondered where Dorian was, and why when Sartaq came to their side she wasn’t with him. The Khagan then appeared and placed a stag horn crown on his head. Sartaq then called for his wife, and Nesryn went to move to his side, but was stopped by a sentry who’s face beheld nothing but indifference towards her.

And then the female Sartaq had been training with stepped out in a gown more elegant than anything Nesryn had ever worn, and Nesryn had to watch as Sartaq kissed his wife – a woman that was not her.

Nesryn woke in a sweat, just as she did every time. It didn’t take a genius to decipher her dream, but Nesryn would never let it cloud her love for Sartaq. They mightn’t be married or even betrothed yet, but one day. _One day_.

_____

He wasn’t there. Another meal wasted, another piece of kindling to her burning anger.

Nesryn liked to think she was a very level-headed person, but of late her emotions had been all over the place. She thought maybe the man she was in love with might be able to help her, but if he showed up for more than five minutes it was a miracle.

Nesryn decided to do something that she might regret later.

She stormed down to where she was sure he would be, to where her dreams had convinced her he would be, and she was ready to give him a piece of her mind.

She was too impatient to go all the way down to the training yard, so she decided that yelling at him from the balcony would be just as good.

She approached the edge of the window and looked down, and her lips turned to a thin line when she saw Sartaq still training with that woman.

She was beautiful. Her skin a deep brown and her hair braided to her waist, she was wielding twin swords against him.

And as Nesryn watched as they laughed together, and he smiled at her the way he did to Nesryn, she felt a deep sadness enter her.

But it was nothing compared to when the woman dropped her weapons and stood close to him. Their faces were angled closely together, and Nesryn could see him talking but not make out the words. And then the woman, standing on the tips of her toes, kissed him.

Nesryn let out a choked sound, so loud that both turned and looked up in her direction.

“Nesryn!” Sartaq shouted, but she was already leaving.

Her steps were hurried and her breathing thick as she rushed to the aviary. This time it was not to sleep, but to escape. Maybe she was more emotional because of her health, or maybe it was because she was so damn sick of being a second choice for men, but she sprinted. The moment she saw Selkhi he knew something was going on, and even Kadara ruffled her feathers, ready for Sartaq to come saddle her too.

The Ruk had two sorts of gear. Saddles meant for long haul flights, and racing saddles, light and only for speed. She chose the latter – it was easier to get on, and then she could get the fuck out of here.

The saddle was on when she heard someone call her name from the bottom of the stairs. With a shuddering breath, she climbed onto Selkhi and whistled, the Ruk flapping into the air and speeding off.

_____

Nesryn only stopped for water and small rest breaks until she reached Terrasen.

“I hope you like the snow,” she muttered to her Ruk.

The days it took to fly here were ones she took to rationalise what she’d seen. She went over it again and again in her head, and every time she came to the same conclusion. Sartaq had wanted her less and less lately, whether it had been in the bedroom or simply for company. Now she knew why.

Nesryn thought she had felt true heartbreak in her life, but the insurmountable pain she was feeling now was overwhelming. She felt like with every breath she might break.

They landed in the courtyard of the palace of Orynth, guards rushing to her and stopping once they realized who she was. A few braver guards offered to take her Ruk to water, and she thanked them, asking if they could also take him to the stables to warm himself. They nodded and left with Selkhi in tow, the creature more than happy to be led along.

Nesryn wandered up to castle steps, wanting to see a familiar face. A friend.

She came to Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius’s door and knocked lightly.

She was met with a _whoosh_ as it was yanked open, a pink faced, smiling Aelin in the other side of it.

“Nesryn! What a happy surprise.” Aelin ushered her into the room, and Nesryn raised a brow at the paperwork strewn across it, as if the queen had thrown it half-heartedly in the direction of the roaring fireplace.

“Long time no see,” Nesryn said as greeting.

“Too long,” Aelin agreed. “What brings you here?”

Nesryn’s throat constricted, and just the simple gesture of someone being so happy to be in her presence made her tear up for the first time since she’d stormed away from the Southern Continent.

“Nesryn? Are you alright?”

She shook her head ever so slightly.

Aelin’s eyes looked over her with concern, the woman grabbing her hands lightly to link their fingers. “What is it?”

“It’s-” her voice trembled on the word. “I saw Sartaq with someone else.”

Aelin cocked her head in either disbelief or misunderstanding. “Sartaq? With another woman?”

Nesryn nodded, and wildfire set Aelin aflame.

“I will kill him for you. I will go right now.” She squeezed Nesryn’s hands.

Nesryn sniffled. “That won’t be necessary.”

Aelin brought her in for a hug, one so warm and comforting that Nesryn found herself melting into it. She was grateful that she still had Aelin as a friend, that their years apart had not dwindled their comradery and that letters were enough to keep their bond strong.

“We’ll do what Lysandra, Elide and I always do when we’re feeling down. Come with me.”

Aelin led her away from the office. They walked through the castle, and Aelin only stopped to mutter a few quick words to her staff to tell Rowan was what happening, and to also deliver chocolate and wine to her room. Lots, and lots of chocolate.

Aelin brought Nesryn to her private quarters where she drew her a steaming bath to wash off the muck of days in the air. Nesryn was grateful, and Aelin sat beside the sink, the two conversing.

When Nesryn was so clean she felt anew, Aelin gave her a pair of snuggly, soft pyjamas. Aelin herself dressed in some, and then both women climbed into bed with Nesryn’s head on Aelin’s chest while Aelin ran her fingers through her hair.

“So, this is what you all do when your men fuck up?”

Aelin laughed. “Yes. Just last week I had Elide here after Lorcan had done something with that pig-head of his. Lysandra last month. I once summoned them both here when Rowan and I fought.”

Nesryn’s lib wobbled. “I don’t know if we’re going to come back from this.”

“Do you want to cry while seeing how much food we can fit in our mouths?”

“That sounds excellent.”

______

Nesryn felt a little bad that she had commandeered Rowan’s wife and bed, but the male seemed more than happy to sleep in a different room while Aelin comforted her. Nesryn was right, her old friend could manage to cheer her up. So much so, that after that first night sleeping in her bed, crying while telling her everything that happened and also what Nesryn was expecting – Aelin’s face fell at that – Nesryn spent the next two weeks in the guest room.

But her bubble had to burst eventually.  

She was giving lessons to Aelin’s archers when she saw a Ruk soaring overhead. She could never mistake Kadara for another, and the anxiety that settled in her stomach was intense enough for her to stop her lesson short. The archers all thanked her profusely as they weeded away, but Nesryn stayed right where she stood. There was no way Sartaq hadn’t seen the dozens of archers as he flew by, so it was only a matter of time before he found her, so why prolong it?

She was setting away equipment when Rowan came into the yard, a hard look in his face.

“One word,” the immortal male said, “and he’ll be gone.”

Nesryn’s lips quirked. “Let the fool explain himself.”

“As you wish.”

Rowan left and was replaced by Sartaq.

His hands were clenching and twisting in front of him. There were heavy bags under his eyes, and his hair was in the worst braid she thought she’d ever seen.

“Are you going to say something, or just stand there?”

“I’m sorry I took so long to find you. I went to Borte and Adarlan before I came here.”

“Good for you.”

“Nes, it’s not what you think. I swear.”

She scoffed. “How do you know what I’m thinking?”

“I was shocked when she kissed me. You reacted quicker than I did, that’s why I hadn’t pushed her away.”

“Let me tell you what I’m thinking.” She stalked until she was in front of him, a bow still in her hand. “I think you fell in love with me through the stories that you’d heard about me. I think that what you heard about her made you feel the same way. I think you were too much of a coward to tell me you were doubting our relationship, even though you know I’ve been hurt because of that in the past. I think you forgot about me while you were with her. I think you missed our anniversary because you were with her. _I think you are with her_.”

He let about a shaking breath. “No, Nesryn I promise I’m not. I can’t apologize to you enough.”

“Even if that kiss was the first, and you didn’t kiss her back, you have still been distant for weeks. You missed our _anniversary_. And you know how much they mean to me.”  Nesryn could admit to herself that maybe if she had only seen the kiss and nothing else then maybe Sartaq was telling her the truth. But with that and everything else, the answer seemed obvious. It didn’t matter that the Sartaq she knew would never do that.

His eyes lined with silver, and he reached a hand out to her. “Come home and I will explain everything. I will show you where I’ve been.”

She shook her head, and his face fell.

“I will do anything. Please, tell me what to do to make you stay with me.”

Nesryn looked over him again. She turned her back and out the bow away, her feet dragging. She could practically feel his nerves as she stayed silent and thought.

What would it take for her to believe him?

“I need the truth.”

_____

Nesryn thanked Aelin profusely before leaving, the queen reiterating that she can return anytime.

She and Sartaq barely spoke on the way back, and even her Ruk seemed to be giving him the cold shoulder.

The days long journey was awkward enough, and thankfully Sartaq didn’t ask questions when she either swooped low for a sudden stop or just hurled into the air. She might have taken not much effort to avoid him, but poor Kadara didn’t deserve having Nesryn’s vomit on her lovely feathers.

They made it back in record time. Nesryn was relieved to be back in the Southern Continent where the heat made her bones feel stronger and the air felt lighter. She didn’t miss Sartaq’s constant stares, although she guessed it was a sick way of the Gods twisting her desires for him to pay more attention to her.

Nesryn expected them to fly to the palace, but Sartaq gestured for her to follow him somewhere else. As they flew, she noted that they were going east of the palace and flying low over an affluent area. Ahead, she saw an unfamiliar sight. There was a hill that had stood vacant for all the years she’d been here. The climb up was steep and hard, and it used to be overflowing with overgrown plant life. Now, it was clear, a small home smack bang in the centre of it.

They landed and Sartaq jumped off Kadara. Kadara shook her feathers out and settled in, as though she was used to this sort of thing.

“Where are we?” Nesryn asked.

“This is a house – our house.”

Nesryn raised a brow. “Excuse me?”

Sartaq rung his hands in front of him. “I know it’s small, but I thought that you might want a place away from the palace to live before I become khagan. I’ve been here every day. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I had as few workers with me as possible. I wanted to feel like I had made this for you, like I gave you something, even if it could never equal what you have given me. I’ve barely been training with that woman at all, but when I did it always had to be at night. It is true, I did find her through stories, but not like you. _Never_ , like you. She was a potential asset, you were a… dream.”  

Nesryn walked past him and into the house. It was small, quaint, and looked to have three little bedrooms. It wasn’t finished, the kitchen was still nothing but a bench and there were no floors or furniture, but Nesryn could see that one day it would be lovely.

Sartaq followed her in. He gave her a small tour, there wasn’t much to see yet, and said he made it like this so that if she wanted, she could make it bigger, grander, as their lives changed.

“You built this.”

“Yes.”

“For us.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He looked at her, biting his lower lip nervously. “I know, Nesryn. I’ve known for weeks.” He looked at her stomach, and Nesryn’s hand instinctively flew to cover it.

“What do you know?”

“It was obvious. It started out just like how it did with Duva and Borte. The signs were the same, I was just waiting for you to tell me. But either way, I knew that I wanted to be ready, and that the palace would likely be the most stressful place to have a baby.”

Nesryn ran a hand over her face and through her hair, dislodging her braids and helping to clear her mind.

“So, to get this straight, the reason you’ve been so absent was because you were building this, you’ve known about my pregnancy and didn’t tell me, and me seeing the kiss between you and that woman was just a coincidence?”

He slowly approached her, his hand replacing hers on her face. He cradled her cheeks, resting his forehead on hers. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Even if I didn’t do the things you thought, I still made you think that I could have. I still hurt you, still skipped all those dinners and missed our anniversary. I am so, so sorry.”

Her lips were a thin line, and she looked away from him, not being able to stand the hope in his eyes.

“I need to think,” she whispered.

She moved away from him. She left him in that house, head hung low, while she climbed atop Sulkhi.

Yes, some time to think on this knew knowledge would be good.


End file.
